Eat It Up! - Contents and Chapter One

Contents

Chapter 1: Fully Forward
Chapter 2: Your Cup Runneth Dry: Obesity and Your Centers of Balance
Chapter 3: God Help Me…Really: Your Spiritual Center
Chapter 4: I Think, I Feel: Your Cognitive and Emotional Centers
Chapter 5: Move It or Don't Lose It: Your Physical Center
Chapter 6: "Do I Know You?": Your Social Center
Chapter 7: When I Grow Up: Your Enterprise Center
Chapter 8: The Road Infrequently Traveled

Chapter 1
Fully Forward

Here are five things your bariatric surgeon didn’t tell you:
· his mother’s maiden name
· the street she grew up on
· the name of his first pet
· her husband’s favorite teacher
· the fact that a significant percentage of weight loss surgery patients will regain a great deal of their weight in two to five years following surgery.

During the weeks and months leading to your surgery, you probably did more research than you did in all of your years of schooling combined. Do you recall reading anywhere about the number of people who regain some or all of their pre-surgery weight a year, or two years, or five years after surgery?

Even if you ran across such information, you likely breezed right over it, scarcely giving it a thought, knowing that you would not be one of those people! Like the young bride and bridegroom preparing for their wedding who are certain they will not be in the fifty percent of marriages that end in divorce, you proceeded with confidence, knowing you would be a successful weight loss patient.

My job, while encouraging and supporting your post-surgery efforts, is to also point out the not-so-fun facts. Couples who have been married for many years are aware of the effort it takes to have a successful marriage. They know it is not all fun and games. Those rings and that marriage license do not guarantee Happily Ever After. Neither do the stitches indicating that your bariatric surgery is complete, nor do the papers discharging you from the hospital guarantee Happily Ever After.

Wait! Don’t close the book now and run away scared! I’m not trying to be a dooms-dayer who bursts your bubbles of happiness, excitement and anticipation. I’m on your side. Choosing to have bariatric surgery is one of the most important decisions you have ever made for yourself. I am here to encourage and support you. I can also supply you with additional knowledge and skills to help ensure your success. My goal is to bolster your confidence in staying the course, in keeping your weight off, and in finding a Happily Ever After that is real and far better than in any fairy tale.

Couples who have been happily married for years and years know that having a solid, happy marriage requires hard work. There are rough times and smooth times. Times you do things even though you don’t feel like it, yet you do what needs to be done because it will benefit the relationship. At times you wonder what you have gotten yourself into, but because you made the decision to get married, you persist in keeping true to your vows. In the end, those who stick it out are proud of what they have accomplished. They are confident that the benefits of their marriage far outweigh the struggles.

So it is with life after bariatric surgery. You embarked on the journey, as you should, starry-eyed, unable to wait for The Big Day, and thrilled about the prospect of the honeymoon! You knew that “real life” would begin soon enough. And you were ready for that, too. Because now, like the young newlyweds who have finally found their life partner, you have what you are certain will lead to your lifelong happiness. Having weight loss surgery meant a way for you to really and truly lose weight, and to you, that has always meant that you would finally be happy. To be sure, there will be times you won’t feel like following through with behavior that is good for you (exercise; refraining from dessert; completing food and exercise diaries.) You will do it, though, because you made a commitment. You also know these behaviors are essential for your long-term goals of sustained weight loss and happiness. There will be times when you wonder what you have gotten yourself into. You will then reaffirm your commitment to your health and happiness and persist in doing “the next right thing,” whatever that is at the moment. In the end, like the couple who joyfully celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary, you will rejoice knowing you made the choice to have a healthy body, to live life fully and to Eat It Up!

That surgeon who failed to mention the patients who regain their weight did not mean to mislead you. He was likely thinking about “success” from the medical perspective, which to him, means that you will lose fifty percent of your excess weight. Your health will be improved and he will have what he desired: another medical success. (Well-meaning parents sometimes forget to mention the peaks and valleys of marriage as their youngsters wed because, whether the young couple stays together or not, the parents are likely to get what they wanted: grandchildren!) My purpose in writing this book is to guide you, from the day you have your surgery, through the ups and downs of daily life as a post-surgical patient, to successful long-term weight loss and a genuinely happy, balanced life. I want to educate and inspire you so you don’t regain the weight you lose. I must, therefore, provide you with the realities of life after bariatric surgery.

I work on a daily basis directly with the bariatric population and see first-hand the emotional struggles clients go through in the days, weeks, months, and yes, the years following bariatric surgery. Sadly, I have seen the devastation people suffer by regaining pound after pound of weight that had been lost in the months immediately following surgery. I can help you prevent the regaining of weight. Of course, you are the one who has to make the decision to take the information I provide and practice it in your life on a daily basis. I have read most of the books on the market about pre- and post- weight loss surgery. I attended Harvard’s annual International Conference on the Practical Treatment of Obesity. I have been through Harvard’s Mind/Body training presented by Herbert Benson, MD, creator of “The Relaxation Response” and author of the book of the same title. I have done my homework. And I work in the field. In working with and listening to bariatric patients in my work, I help them understand what they know on a cognitive level: weight loss surgery is only the beginning of the happy, balanced life they are seeking. Regardless, each one hopes that the surgery will be The Answer and “Everything Else” will simply and magically fall into place after that. “Everything Else” includes:

· I will no longer have cravings for the foods I love.
· My car will automatically ignore all fast food drive-thrus.
· My habit of going to the refrigerator/cupboards every fifteen minutes will disappear.
· I will develop an intense love and desire for 60 to 90 minutes of daily exercise.
· I will refuse to take escalators when stairs are available; I will prefer to walk without the benefit of the moving sidewalk in the airport; and I will happily park as far away from the store as possible for the sheer pleasure of taking those extra steps.
· I will have foolproof resistance to the smorgasbord of food at family reunions, holidays and social gatherings.

Here is one of those realities mentioned earlier: bariatric surgery does primarily one thing. Bariatric surgery decreases the physical size of the area of your stomach that can hold food. That’s it. Nothing less. Nothing more. (Okay, so depending on the type of procedure you have, the intestines may be rerouted, as well.) The point is, surgery does absolutely nothing to deal with the two things that are primarily responsible for the regaining of weight after bariatric surgery: your long-term eating and exercise habits and the cognitive and emotional issues related to those eating and exercise behaviors. The fact is, without addressing the cognitive, emotional and behavioral issues underlying obesity, weight loss surgery is actually a very expensive and invasive “diet.” And like the other diets you have tried, it is doomed to fail unless you do the work suggested in this book.

That is why I wrote this book. I can help you with those things. The best-selling books on bariatric surgery on the market primarily address the decision-making process leading to surgery and the medical aspects of bariatric surgery. Eat It Up! guides you through the process of exploring the cognitive, emotional and behavioral components that ultimately determine if you will succeed in sustaining your weight loss or if you will have spent thousands of dollars on yet another failed diet. In addition, in Eat It Up! you are given exercises to do in each chapter that are geared to lead you to success. If you do them there is no reason you will not reach the weight goals you have set. Beyond that, you will experience the transition from a world that has been like an old television show experienced in only black and white to a life that is exploding in full, brilliant color! The difference is indescribable. The choice is yours.

If you think you don’t need this information, then put the book down, but don’t get rid of it. I believe there will be a time in the future when you will want and need this information. I recommend, in fact, that you read through the book once from start to finish. Then start again at the beginning and go through it slowly, working on the exercises you feel you need. Do this all the way through the book, in order. Then, over time, as you encounter situations in your daily life that you are struggling with, come back to this book, find the section related to a particular issue, and work through the exercises again. We all grow and change with time. The thoughts, feelings and ideas you have related to a particular issue will change as you change. The information in this book is here to provide assistance. It’s yours to use or not. I hope you will choose to use it. Again and again.

Your Whole Self

I take a mind/body/spirit approach in my work, and in writing about your overall success following weight loss surgery. To me, this translates to permanent weight loss following surgery and fi nding the happiness you have been seeking. Since this book is designed to help you prevent weight regain, I will share what I know about that particular topic. However, I am going to go further than simply suggesting you put the right foods into your body and get sufficient exercise. I am going to address how your obesity and your weight loss surgery are intertwined with your whole self: body, mind, and spirit. I do this by focusing on six major areas of your life, or Centers of Balance, which include your Physical Center, your Cognitive Center, your Emotional Center, your Social Center, your Spiritual Center, and your Enterprise Center. I am positive that by choosing to follow the suggestions provided in this book, you will live out your Happily Ever After in your thinner, healthier body.

Your Centers of Balance: Your True Keys to Happiness

For so long, diet after diet, through weight loss and weight regain, you have clung to the notion that when you lost your excess weight, you would be happy. If that were the case, people would not regain their weight after a successful diet. Weight loss surgery patients that have gone before you would be living the blissfully happy lives they presumed being thinner would bring them. We all know that weight loss alone does not mean inevitable happiness.

The happiest, most functional people in our society live balanced lives. I describe a balanced life in terms of six Centers of Balance. The happy, functional people I speak of spend time in solitude or prayer and carry the benefits into their lives while still dealing with “the real world” (Spiritual Center). They put effort into keeping their thoughts and feelings in a moderate range. They are not ruled by rigid thoughts or out-of-control emotions, nor are they emotionally shut down or blunted (Cognitive Center and Emotional Center). They spend time with friends, but not at the expense of their families or other responsibilities (Social Center). They get both aerobic and anaerobic exercise on a regular basis and engage in physical activity, but don’t take it to the extremes (Physical Center). They work, but don’t overdo it. They give back to their communities through volunteer or service work, while taking care of themselves and their families or other responsibilities (Enterprise Center). My goal is to address your real-life issues related to life following bariatric surgery in the context of your Centers of Balance. The result: you will live the well-balanced life of one of the genuinely happy people in our world in your new, more physically healthy body, keeping your weight off throughout your lifetime.

In Chapter 2, you will take a journey into your past. We’ll explore the reasons for obesity, including physiological and emotional components. Exercises guide you in taking an overall inventory of the factors leading to your obesity. You will determine the issues you need to work on to prevent the return of bad habits leading to weight regain as you move toward your healthier life.

In Chapter 3, you take stock of your spiritual beliefs and practices. Your Spiritual Center is the epicenter of your life. Being obese has interfered in your relationship with God, your relationship with yourself and your relationships with others. Obesity is a disease of isolation. Angry about being judged and ridiculed, you became isolated. Shame and embarrassment led to further isolation. Thought-provoking questions help you determine how your authentic self got lost in the process of becoming obese. You will choose how to use spiritual principles to guide you in the process of regaining your authentic self throughout your recovery from obesity.

Chapter 4 is the most difficult chapter in the book. You learn how your thoughts, feelings and behaviors are intertwined. Obesity weighed you down with negative messages about yourself, about what you could do and about what you were worth. Negative thoughts and feelings kept you imprisoned, as did your obesity. Here you will address issues from the past so that you can work through them and move beyond them. You will develop positive thinking habits, which will impact your feelings and your behaviors in healthy ways. You’ll learn tools to help prevent sabotage by self and others. You’ll set goals for developing healthy behaviors, you’ll accept responsibility for the choices you make, and you’ll move toward health and happiness.

In Chapter 5, I tackle the world of physical exercise and activity. You can vent and whine and complain if you hate exercise. You can rejoice if you love it and can’t wait to get to it. No matter what, you will partake in it as there is no way to avoid exercise if you want to lose weight and keep it off. You will choose how to make exercise fun, and if that concept doesn’t stand a chance of working for you, then you can use other options presented in the chapter to motivate yourself to get out there and sweat.

Chapter 6 focuses on the social aspects of your life and the dramatic changes that take place in your social life after surgery. The shame associated with being obese led to social and emotional isolation as well as spiritual isolation. After you lose weight, your self-esteem improves, and your interactions with others change accordingly. These changes are received well by some but not so happily by others. Learning to be assertive and to set healthy boundaries will further enhance your sense of self-worth. Inviting your family and loved ones to join you as you change and grow will make your transition to healthy living smoother for you and those you love.

Chapter 7 focuses on your Enterprise Center. Your Enterprise Center includes what you do for work, how you enhance your mind, what your hobbies are, how you handle your finances, and the ways you contribute to society. Being obese stole opportunities from you in each of these areas. To rebalance this Center, you will identify messages you were given and that you continue to give yourself regarding your worth and ability. Expanding your life leads to better self esteem, healthier thoughts and improved feelings, which translates to overall improved health, happiness and sustained weight loss.

Chapter 8 is called The Road Infrequently Traveled. Unlike diets from yesteryear that you “went on” and “came off of,” the behaviors you choose following bariatric surgery are lifelong, permanent changes. Perseverance is the road infrequently traveled by post-surgical patients. As adults, we are responsible for making positive choices regarding our health. If you use the skills taught throughout this book every day, one day and one choice at a time, referring to this guidebook often and completing the exercises, you will find success!

Fully Forward

Congratulations. You have an idea of what lies ahead: hard work, tears and painful feelings. I’ll bet you can hardly wait to get started! Take heart. The best truly is yet to come. Move fully forward through the rough patches because on the other side, you will be living a fully healthy, happy and balanced life. Eat It Up!